Friends, Comrades, Lovers, Mates, Acquaintances, Strangers, Foes ...

A man?s growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wanted to write about this topic for a while already ? friendship, or in a broader sense ? relationships. I don?t like the inflationary use of the term friend?for all our relationships. On the other hand, it is also quite interesting that Germany?s biggest dating site is called ?Friend?-Scout, while you are actually searching a partner or lover on it.

Let?s try to define the word friend ? here?s one definition from a dictionary:

A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

Okay, that is not very specific? How can it be after all? If you want more ?objective? stuff, you can read on at Wikipedia.

Friendship is a strange thing, the term holds different meanings from person to person, and also may hold different feelings from person to person, and of course different depths from person to person. I?ve collected a lot of small pieces and present them below?all of which I agree and try to adhere to.

As a child, your friendships focus is on fun ? you play and have fun together. When you?re older the friendship gets deeper?you get to know each other deeper and talk a lot. Your friends will know you well. You may have deep, soul searching talks with your friends?about your greatest joys, biggest heartaches or top dreams.

Making good friendship is an art, a true friend cares for you like a mother and protects you like a father and loves you like a spouse. You regard him or her with affection and loyalty and it is a relationship you choose as opposed to blood relationships.

A true friendship is eternal. It can blossom between anybody irrespective or age, gender, social background, etc?a true friendship is progressive. It should bring joy in your life, true friends love each other and appreciate each other qualities and deficits. Loyality is key to retain the warmth of it.

Friends also tell truths that might hurt when they have to be told. A friend is a like a rainbow in the sky of life. Friendships last if there is no expectation from either side. Both should listen to the other. A good friend is like a heartbeat that goes on till the end. The presence of a true friend is a morale booster. A friend is someone you share happiness, sorrow, pain, every human feeling with.

You don?t have to talk. You can just sit, say nothing, just be together.? You stick together through good and bad times. You age together and create collective memories. You stay in touch, even over long distances. You feel empathy. You can ring each other at 4am when necessary. You?re on top of each others ?priorities? list?even when busy you find time to talk and meet?or even just a small message.

Don?t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don?t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
~ Albert Camus

When you talk to each other, or write each other a message, you know that what he or she is writing is written with a good intention ? nothing could be written or said that could wreck your relationship?because you know that it was said or written with a good intent.

When you?re a star, a role model, and fate takes this role away from you?the people that stay with you, these are your true friends.

But let?s face it? Is true friendship dying away? ? As the headline of this USAToday article suggests. Social Media and the internet are changing our lifes?no doubt. ?Smaller circles of friends are being partially eclipsed by Facebook acquaintances routinely numbered in the hundreds. ?
It is more and more a society of quantity versus quality.

? In the United Kingdom, the Mental Health Foundation just published The Lonely Society, which notes that about half of Brits believe they?re living in, well, a lonelier society. One in three would like to live closer to their families, though social trends are forcing them to live farther apart.?

I know I am a controversial person?I?m speaking from my heart, and I find this article hits the nail. ?According to work published in the American Sociological Review, the average American has only two close friends, and a quarter don?t have any.?
It is a very useful and insightful read.

Do i have friends?

Yes, but only a handful ? certainly not the 100 + connected to me on Facebook. One of my friends told me, for example that he thinks in order to become friends/relationship with people nowadays you must have something that interests them, e.g. like an USP (Unique Selling Point) as if you were a product. People hold unrealistic expectations in relationships and friendships?of course the main blame is on the media, suggesting how a perfect person and perfect relationship should look like. I?d like to quote from this blog post:

?In our society, it is getting harder and harder to make friends. Between the time we spend at work, and the time we spend with just our families, it is getting more and more difficult to make good friendships. Many people have turned to the internet to make friends and although this is not a bad thing, it really does not take the place of face to face friendships. The reason being, people on the internet engage in fantasy. They portray themselves as how they would like to be, not always how they really are.?

So, what is my point after all?
I?ve met so many people in the last years and a lot of times I felt let down?because I was aiming for friendship, in a traditional sense?but it seems that in today?s society this is as rare as a banker who works in his clients favour?on the other hand, I truly appreciate the few people I met who share my understanding of friendship?who give me the strength to brave the world, to stay true and loyal to myself?to believe in humanity.

?A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.?
~ Elbert Hubbard

Hari Om Tat Sat,

Patrik

Source: http://www.patriqio.com/blog/?p=587

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